By Jen Allee
What do you do when God is silent about what you long for the most?
I remember waiting on Him for months, then years, wondering why He didn’t answer my deepest longing. Why, Lord? It just didn’t make sense.
As time wore on, an unwelcome guest took up residency in my heart. I repeatedly shooed it away, but in time, it sunk like a stone deep into my heart. I grew accustomed to the heaviness and learned to walk with the limp. Its name? Disappointment.
Disappointment is an emotion we don’t like to associate with God. Shouldn’t we always be thankful for Him? Quick to praise Him? It feels counterintuitive to be crestfallen in light of all He has done for us.
Yet there I was in my wait, willing myself to be content while the rumbling of dissatisfaction grew louder. I kept stuffing down the one question I so desperately wanted to ask: Why, Lord?