What Does it Mean to Forgive and Forget?

How to Release Hurt Without Losing Your Story

By Debbie W. Wilson

“Forgive and forget.” I bet you’ve heard that phrase. Wouldn’t it be nice if we could wave a magic wand and do just that? But anyone who has been deeply wounded knows how impossible—and condemning—this admonition can feel. How do we stop remembering something that shattered our trust?

Rita wrestled with this. Her struggle and victory offer hope to those reeling from betrayal.

When the Hurt is Clear and Present

“I thought I was going to die when my extended family told me my husband had cheated on me,” Rita said. “My whole family knew about the affair that had taken place years earlier. I felt like a fool. I was the only one who hadn’t known. I couldn’t breathe.”

Rita knew her husband loved her, and she loved him. But in that moment, her world crumbled. She knew that if their marriage had any chance of surviving, she would have to forgive him. Yet forgiveness felt impossible while her pain was so intense. Her struggle led to a greater interest in the Bible. She needed solid footing to move forward.