“I Don’t Feel Good Enough”

Three Reminders to Fight the Performance Lie

By Amber Johnson

Late this past spring, I started training for a half-marathon. With the summer months ahead of me, I wanted to enjoy God’s great outdoors, get my blood flowing, and keep my body strong and healthy. In my late twenties and early thirties, I easily ran under two hours for the 13.1-mile race, and I was hopeful that I could do it a fourth time now, at the end of my 30s.

Fast forward to race day—after all the summer training, the hills, and the heat, I felt ready. Despite being sick twice during my training and my daughter fighting off a cold the week of my race, I was hopeful that I would do well.

The Lie Kicks In

As that starting gun went off, my nerves and excitement heightened. And within the first few miles, the doubts, negative self-talk, and fears began setting in.

Did I train enough for this?

What if I don’t finish?

What if I don’t get under two hours?

I should be faster than this.

Why do I have to walk a bit?

I feel like such a failure already.

I wish I could say I was able to push those negative thoughts and emotions away, but they stuck with me for most of the race.