Encouragement for the Woman Without a Mother

God Sees the Wound Your Mother Left, and He Is Not Finished with You

By Theresa Boedeker

There is an ache and a loss that follows those of us who are motherless. Not motherless by our own choice, but because of our mother’s choice.

Maybe she walked out of our life. Maybe she was there all along and even fed us and enrolled us in school, but she was abusive, emotionally distant, neglectful, and selfish—because of her own scars, or due to a mental problem or addiction. We never felt seen or heard, accepted or loved by our mothers, and missed out on the warm relationships we needed and deserved.

I find myself surprised by the relationships my friends have with their mothers, which are so unlike mine.

“My mom adored me, absolutely adored me,” my friend shared.

I adored my two children, and yet I had never entertained the idea that I could have been adored. Mom made it clear that we were to adore her, not the other way around. Once again, I am reminded of how my mother shaped my childhood, my notions of what a mother is like, and what I deserve in relationships.

Maybe you relate. Here are some things that have helped me.