Companioning Through Grief and Loss

The Ministry of Simply Being There

By: Laura Johnson

It was several months after the death of my friend’s son. She had gone to church, a place where she felt safe to be honest and transparent. Shortly into the service, she experienced a flood of emotions that came in like a tsunami. As the tears flowed, a well-meaning church leader noticed that she was upset and asked her what was wrong. She shared that she was thinking about her son and missing him terribly. The person replied, “Oh, you’re still having a hard time?”

The message that society often gives in response to grief and loss is “you should be over your grief by now” or “it’s time to move on.” Our society tends to ignore or minimize loss because it’s uncomfortable with it or inexperienced with it. It’s uncomfortable to be around people who are sad and grieving because of some type of loss. What do I say? What if I say the wrong thing? Why can’t they snap out of it? Yet loss is all around us. How can we as Christ-followers create conditions that allow the bereaved to grieve, heal, and grow? How can we companion or travel with that person and enter into their loss as they heal?